Candy
by Saxifrace v. 2
Summary: R for randy. Ron's had a rough day, and Hermione knows just the right way to cheer him up...


**And for your perverted entertainment…**

The idea for this came from watching that famous part of True Lies, and from a conversation my friend and I had about what song we want our boyfriends to strip to. Don't ask, because I won't tell. I know it's short. That's the point. 'Candy' belongs to The Presidents of the United States of America. Go check them out.

* * *

Ron Weasley was having the worst day of his life. He'd been dragged to seven raids, due to the rule that four Aurors must tag along on any raid attempted for protection purposes. The coffee at the ministry tasted like shit. The cooling spells had all worn off and it was boiling the whole day. And, to top it all off, it was his birthday and he hadn't seen Hermione since she left last week for a class in the States. It was a really bad day.

The hallway to the tiny apartment he shared with Hermione was quiet, the – probably – hundred year old lights flickering as they always did, and Ron felt oddly comforted by it. At least something was being predictable.

The apartment was at the end of the hall, and he opened the door with a 'unlock-turn-knob-push-kick-push-again' skill that he'd mastered when they first moved in. What he found on the other side made him stop in his tracks.

"Hermione," he breathed, shrugging off his cloak and shutting the door. "When did you—?"

Hermione cut him off, placing a finger over his mouth and tugging him along gently. Ron obediently followed, sitting in the seat she directed him to. Before he could ask what was going on, she had turned away and was making her way to the muggle boom box on the shelf. Music floated through the speakers after a moment, and Hermione turned around, sending Ron a sultry look as she mouthed the words.

_Well sugar's only sweetness_

_Salt is ocean tears_

_You were my only weakness_

_For years and years and years_

Ron felt a shudder run through his body as he watched Hermione, entranced. She stepped towards him slowly, unbuttoning her blouse as she did. Ron's mouth went dry as her body sensually moved with the beat of the song.

"Christ," he murmured clumsily.

_You little yellow sweetie_

_You were hiding in a jar_

_Now my mind is gone completely_

_Take off the lid and there you are_

_You're my candy_

_Ca-a-andy_

Hermione's blouse was quickly discarded, and she drew her wand, locking the door before tossing it aside. She bit her bottom lip as she undid the button on her jeans, a small blush spreading across her cheeks. Ron thought it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

Gathering her thoughts and pushing the blush down, Hermione closed her eyes and rolled her hips, grinning when she heard Ron moan.

_Well the devil, she made sweet candy_

_Took six days and nights to dream_

_On the seventh day she rested_

_Woke up early and made ice cream_

Hermione slid the jeans over her hips, delicately stepping out of them before sitting on Ron's lap. She turned to face him, a knee on either side of his legs, and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, pressing butterfly kisses at his collarbone. He bucked against her, breath coming out in erratic gasps.

"Jesus, woman, what did they teach you over there?" he sputtered, fingers gripping the armrests so tightly his knuckles were turning white. It was all he could do to not throw her down and ravage her right there.

_Now the devil, she must be a dentist_

_With deep jawbreaker eyes_

_Red rope hair, gumdrop lips_

_Cotton candy thighs_

_You're my candy_

_Ca-a-andy_

Hermione's lips followed the buttons' previous path, her tongue darting out to circle his navel. Her fingers deftly undid his belt, pulling back to remove it. An almost evil smile made its way across her lips as she undid the button on his jeans and crawled out of his lap. She pulled him to his feet, sliding her hand down his legs as she removed the offending clothing. A little less than gently, she shoved him back into the chair.

Ron stared up at her, painfully aware of their lack of clothing. …Not that it was a bad thing, but she was driving him mad.

_Chocolate Lava stole my body_

_And aftertaste stole my mind_

_Left me danged and down defenseless_

_And then sweet candy, she said goodbye_

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Ron grabbed her by the waist, tugging her back into his lap. He kissed her hungrily, fingers moving up to rake through her hair and hold her close. Hermione wrapped her arms over his shoulders, reluctant to let him go when he started to pull back.

"You're brilliant," he whispered hoarsely, touching her face softly.

_Now my teeth are worn and useless_

_My eyes too sunk to see_

_My tongue swole up to twice its size_

_And all I wand a do is eat…_

_Candy, my candy_

_My candy, my candy_

_Suckin' on my candy_

Hermione smiled widely at him, brushing her fingers down his cheek.

"Happy birthday, Ron."

…Suddenly it didn't seem like such a bad day after all.


End file.
